Water Damage Restoration Keeps Water Pipes Happy
Whenever your typical red-blooded American thinks of repairing water damaging, they shudder and just remember the hours they wasted that one time toiling over a bucket they dug out of the tool shed hauling lots of murky brown water out of the basement after that one really bad storm. Then they sigh and down the rest of their pint lamenting the grand fight of that afternoon. Their initiatives though pale in comparison to the indisputable master of flood damage restoration: the biblical Noah.
One other issue is mold removal but let’s stick to the topic of course. While you complain about trashing a good pair of Nikes to pump the water out of the dank rumpus room your wife lets you keep in the basement, Noah was singlehandedly building a mammoth wooden Ark with his bare hands. And that was the first of his challenges.
Just consider for a couple seconds the conversation between God and Noah that kicked off those wacky antics, and already Noah puts your efforts at flood damage restoration to miserable shame. God, having entirely had it up to here with mankind always smoking dope, punching kittens, and worshipping three headed spider Gods, or whatever else they were doing, determined to crumple up that mistake and sink a three pointer from half court with it. Thus he says to Noah something like, “Yo, I don’t have the time to get into it, but I’m totally going to submerge the earth beneath an apocalyptic deluge. I saw the way you pumped the water out of that rumpus room last spring and, ye, truly you are the Master of Water Damage Restoration. So first, I’m gunna need you to build an Ark. Then, I’m gunna need you to put on it two of every animal, so they can repopulate themselves, because animals are awesome.”
And Noah said something like: “…every animal?”
According to the bible, that’s just what he did. So maybe your tiny efforts in water damage restoration weren’t able to save your Spoons of the World collection from getting all wrecked. That’s worth a complaint or two. But try trekking 4,000 miles to the heart of a Godless subarctic wasteland and singlehandedly wrangling a 500lb flesh consuming Siberian Tiger and hauling this horrific brute all the way back and then coercing into a leaky wooden boat. Then once you’re finished: do it once again. That’s one pair of animals down. Only… millions more to go. And it hasn’t even begun to rain yet!
So then it actually starts to rain for 40 days, and the earth floods for another 150 more, which is bad enough as it is when you’re not cooped up on a boat with the entire world’s variety of nightmarish predatory beasts. Then he parks his gigantic floating house of animal disasters on top of a mountain and waits for the flood waters to recede, as per God’s plan. And when he’s accomplished, he presumably puts all the animals back where he found them (simply because I can’t imagine letting all the world’s animals out at once into a massive mosh pit of Discovery Channel brand bedlam could possibly be pretty). And when all is said and done, the entire Earth is repopulated. Now that’s flood damage restoration.